My Mother was Abused by my Father, but Everyone Around Allowed it to Happen

By Ayla Suraya __ (Content Warning for Partner Violence and descriptions of abuse) My mother’s experience of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) or domestic violence has definitely had an impact on me. Growing up, my mother would share problems that she should have confided in her spouse or a therapist and my parents’ marriage was the…

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“No Mother Would Leave Her Own Children Unless It Was past Every Point of Desperation.”

by Sue _ (content warning: partner violence & marital rape) When people think of domestic abuse, they usually think of its most explicit manifestations. It’s physical. It’s loud. There’s glass breaking, slaps landing, and eyes turning blue from a bruise. It is, in a word, dramatic. The kind we see in TV dramas, movies, and…

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‘Siapa nak jaga mak?’ A Narrative on The Mental Health Toll of Caregiving

by Raudah Abdul Rashid __ ‘Siapa nak jaga mak?’ When Mak fell down again at night and had to be rushed to the hospital. I stayed overnight to take care of Mak and to make sure she was comfortable. No one asked me to. It was implied that I, as the only daughter should take care…

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For Love or Duty

by A Lady Marriage has never been on the books for me. My parents thought it unnecessary, hindering, and dooming. They firmly believe that humanity is fast approaching qiyamah (Day of Resurrection), and the time where true believers will no longer exist on the face of this Earth. No one qualifies to be our partners,…

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Till Death Do Them Part?

by Nur Hafiza _ I want to introduce the concept of divorce to my grandmother. I suppose she had a happy, lovely marriage at the beginning. She left her family to be with him. Despite being more educated than he, she stayed at home to care for their four children while he worked endless hours…

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Marriage Is Beautiful, but Only If It Is Done Right

Marriage Is Beautiful, but Only If It Is Done Rightby Qis Hakim _ It’s mystifying how Muslim men have succeeded in governing one-sided marital laws for so many generations. Women have conformed to this norm as a way life they have been brought up in. I respect their choices, and I’m in no way complying.…

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My Marriage Healed Me From Toxic Parenting

by Sya Taha __ When people ask me how I got married, I say, half-laughing, that my father proposed to the man that is now my husband. I hide behind humour because it is sinister and painful to know that my father is not equal parts benevolently patriarchal and protective (as people would interpret his…

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Familial Priorities

by Zarifah Anuar I fight a lot with my parents. I think that’s inevitable when you’re an opinionated young adult whose views are a direct contrast to those of your conservative parents, but the most recent argument topic was quite strange to me. It was about time and planning. I’m a planner. I have a…

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The Price of Love

by Zubaida Ali My son has found his one true love at the age of 28. She is a delightful young university graduate, who is the perfect match for him. There is talk of marriage and the traditional ‘masuk meminang’ event that has become part of our Malay culture. With it, is the inevitable discussion…

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Never Enough

by A The first time I told myself I wasn’t enough, I was 10 years old. It was my birthday. It all started out so simply. My family went out to celebrate my birthday at the cinema. We were going to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen at around 2pm, so we decided to grab some lunch at Swensen’s…

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