“No Mother Would Leave Her Own Children Unless It Was past Every Point of Desperation.”

by Sue _ (content warning: partner violence & marital rape) When people think of domestic abuse, they usually think of its most explicit manifestations. It’s physical. It’s loud. There’s glass breaking, slaps landing, and eyes turning blue from a bruise. It is, in a word, dramatic. The kind we see in TV dramas, movies, and…

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Editor’s Letter: Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) & Domestic Abuse

by Diana Rahim _ (Content Warning for Partner Violence and descriptions of abuse) Reading the submissions for the call-out on Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) has been the most affecting experience for me so far in editing Beyond The Hijab. The stories shared are heartbreaking, not just because of what these women have experienced, but how…

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Dua Kalimah Syahadah

by Irie _ i have been crying about dying and not-dying, all at the same time, keenly aware my consciousness will not be liberated: left to float in space. left to float in the void. left to float on and on, long after this mortal body and the mortal body after that and the mortal…

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Fear of the Afterlife & Panic Attacks

By Naj __ I always feared the afterlife. So when I experienced my first onset of hard-hitting panic attacks, I thought that I was going to die and be thrown into that world I feared the most. My first panic attack struck when I was 16. I was spacing out in Malay class when I…

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‘Siapa nak jaga mak?’ A Narrative on The Mental Health Toll of Caregiving

by Raudah Abdul Rashid __ ‘Siapa nak jaga mak?’ When Mak fell down again at night and had to be rushed to the hospital. I stayed overnight to take care of Mak and to make sure she was comfortable. No one asked me to. It was implied that I, as the only daughter should take care…

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When the Lost get Found

by A When I was 11, I remember coming up to my mother one day and telling her that something was wrong with me. To this day, I can still recall the exact words I said: “I think I’m missing a few wires in my brain.” Growing up, I was a very eccentric child. I…

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What NOT to Say to a Muslim Struggling with Their Mental Health

by Nurul Afiqah __ It’s ironic how difficult it can be to find comfort among religious people when religion itself is supposed to be a source of comfort. Mentally ill people seeking support from among their friends and family in the Muslim community are often met with ignorance wrapped in well-meaning, faith-inspired advice. I reached…

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Editor’s Letter: Mental Health

by Diana Rahim It’s hard being a person. Nobody truly tells you this, nor are we really encouraged to look into this fact deeply. As a society, we are uncomfortable with confronting sadness and despair, and would rather concentrate on a superficial, easy-to-understand pursuit of happiness. We are taught to meet our basic material needs,…

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For Love or Duty

by A Lady Marriage has never been on the books for me. My parents thought it unnecessary, hindering, and dooming. They firmly believe that humanity is fast approaching qiyamah (Day of Resurrection), and the time where true believers will no longer exist on the face of this Earth. No one qualifies to be our partners,…

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Till Death Do Them Part?

by Nur Hafiza _ I want to introduce the concept of divorce to my grandmother. I suppose she had a happy, lovely marriage at the beginning. She left her family to be with him. Despite being more educated than he, she stayed at home to care for their four children while he worked endless hours…

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