by Hadad
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I’ve debated with myself about writing this piece. I’m not sure how it will be received by either the public or my community. I’ve been concerned with this topic for a number of years now, and as much as I want to talk about it, I also want to keep it to myself because my views are a minority within my community. Times are changing and people are more open-minded, but the traditional and conventional few continue to have greater influence, and that makes writing this piece a lot harder and a lot more personal.
I belong to the local Arab community, whose history is quite intimate with Singapore’s in almost every aspect: colonial and independence, socio-political and -economic, and race and religion.1 The man who has his name on one of our MRT Stations, our roads, and an entire estate, is my great-great-great-I’m not sure how many more greats-grandfather, Syed Omar Aljunied2. He and the many ancestors of the Singaporean-Arabs came from Hadhramout in Yemen. As a migrant community, we’re part of the greater Hadhrami diaspora across the world.3 Some of us have cousins in Malaysia and Indonesia.
Like the people in the Arabian peninsula (and to some extent the Chinese),4 Singaporean Arab individuals are grouped by their tribes/clans. Aljunied is not a person’s name per sé, but the tribe he or she belongs to. There are Aljunieds, Alkaffs, Alsagoffs, Alhadads, Aljufris, Alhadis, Bagharibs, Bin Shahabs, and many more I can’t recall and don’t know. Of these tribes, the majority claim to be direct descendants of Prophet Muhammad. The Al’s I’ve listed above are some examples. The Bagharibs, for instance, are among those who aren’t. We’ll get back to that later.
What comes with tribe/clan names is what you would expect: the glorification of genealogy and lineage. And as you would also know and expect, those two are commonly and intimately paternal. So, because my father is an Alhadad, so am I, even though my mother belongs to another tribe. And because I am a woman, the Alhadad lineage through my father ends with him, unless me and/or sisters marry another Alhadad. It is a shame, according to my extended paternal family, that my parents have no sons to continue the Alhadad name.
The Arabs, since pre-Islamic times, hold genealogy and lineage very highly.5 In Arabic, the word that encapsulates these two things is nasab. The nasab is valued because it differentiated the ruling and noble classes from the commoners, and therefore the nasab was an intricate element of Arab society and community.6 To ignore or abandon it was to be “excluded from humanity”. One’s nasab or kinship is one’s primary identity before one’s self. In Arab gatherings, events, weddings, and tahlils (death anniversaries), you can hear people asking, “Al-ape?” (What Al [is he/she]?). Till today, genealogists are held in high regard in what is considered a serious occupation.7 This concept of putting community and/or nation before self is nothing new or unique to the Arabs, of course. The Singapore government adopts this with Confucian ideology very well.8
The practice of Islam further prioritised one’s nasab, which now not only identified one’s position in society, but one’s position in the religion and the relationships one has with others of the same religion.9 Consequentially, one’s nasab determined one’s privileges, status, and influence, in all things political, economic, social, and religious. Again, such elitism isn’t unique to the Arabs. It takes place across the world. But when your tribe or kinship claims to be descendants of Prophet Muhammad, these privileges and status transcend our lives on Earth. The descendants are special: our privileges are spiritual in that we will continue to be ‘special’ in the afterlife as well.10
I’m not here to debate or share the justifications or arguments of the tribal claims as descendants of the Prophet. I’m here to discuss the consequences of such claims on the Sharifahs, the female descendants. Sharifah and Syed (for males) are titles, which can be omitted but are preferably kept. If you’re an Alkaff, your name would be Syed/Sharifah [Your Name] Bin/Binte (son/daughter of) Syed [Father’s Name] Alkaff. Sharifahs and Syeds are important identifiers as the tribe names are.
As I’ve explained, nasab is essential in Arab communities. This is more so in the Singaporean Arab Hadrahmi community, where a significant number of us are the alleged descendants of the Prophet. As any tribe goes (Arabs, Chinese, and/or any native tribes), keeping the ties and lineage of your group is important. It’s how the tribe is sustained. The purity of the tribe’s blood is priority. The same is applied to the descendants of the Prophet. Though they exist in various tribes, as a collective they are of the same ‘sacred blood’. They marry among themselves in order to preserve this purity.11 Needless to say, this breeds elitism and racism. I must say however that not all Singaporean (Malaysian and Indonesian) Arabs agree to or abide by this. I will say though that the majority do, and find it shameful and disappointing when they hear and find descendants marrying ‘outside’ the group.
(I’m not even going to talk about the health consequences of the nature of such marriages. Scientific knowledge and data are abundant, but these don’t really matter, as long as you don’t marry ‘too close’ a relative. And how do you define ‘too close’, really?)
As much as Syeds are encouraged to marry Sharifahs as the Sharifahs are encouraged to marry Syeds, the responsibilities are not quite the same. Children of Syeds get to become Syeds and Sharifahs of a tribe because of their ansab (pl. of nasab), but children of Sharifahs who marry out do not. The latter of course are still descendants by blood (though purity is debatable), but not in name. It’s a great ‘shame’ when Sharifahs marry out. Sons are therefore more desirable in our community. It doesn’t matter that my grandfather’s granddaughters are doing much better than their male cousins. Us girls can’t continue the Alhadad name. The nasab carries the community and family honour; you disgrace your parents if you don’t marry another descendant of a tribe. You do not come first before your tribe and family.12
There’s so much value placed on our sacred blood, and yet our ansab remains a key element in our identities and who Sharifahs should marry. Never mind that almost the entire Arab community in Singapore has masuk Melayu (become Malay). We speak Malay more than we do Arabic (some entire generations have lost Arabic as their spoken/Mother tongue due to our assimilation into the Malay-Muslim community), that we cook and enjoy Malay dishes more than Arab ones, that we dress in baju kurongs more than our Arab dress, and that we haven’t visited our homeland, Hadhramout, for many generations. The madrasahs built in Singapore were by the Arabs, to ensure that the Arabic language and Islamic knowledge wouldn’t be lost to the community. Today, only a few Arabs attend such schools. We see more Malay youths attending religious classes than Arab youths. Arabs make up some of the O of Singapore’s CMIO framework, and we will remain a smaller number than the Malays in the Muslim community. However, the ratio of Arabs in the population to those Arabs who attend religious classes are disproportionate. The name doesn’t make the person. It doesn’t determine one’s religiosity or character. Yet, the bloods of the descendants must not be tainted.
Prophet Muhammad never recommended, or suggested this. A man with so much love and passion for everyone he encountered regardless of their race or religion would, I believe, be heartbroken if he knew that his alleged descendants were discriminating others based on their race when it comes to marriage, a relationship he valued tremendously. In a Hadith, the Prophet encouraged marriage between two people of the same kafa’ah, or kufu in Malay, which can be loosely translated into ‘kind’ or ‘parity’.13 It can mean many different things: education, wealth, age, wavelength, race, culture, and/or religion. Too great a difference between husband and wife can make it hard for a harmonious, loving, and supportive union. The Prophet’s words were encouragements, to be taken into context. Muslims however have a tendency to twist his words into commands. Although a ‘Syed/Sharifah’ in the name isn’t the only factor to consider when deciding on one’s companion, marrying one without the name seems to be wrong because they wouldn’t be sekufu (the same kind). It’s an argument the Arab community likes to use when they decide who they should marry. Some Malay-Muslims use this same argument too.
Those who prefer to stick to tribalistic traditions and conventions are somewhat aware that these are socially/culturally constructed. There is no real basis for them. The children of Sharifahs who marry a non-Syed are still descendants because that’s how biology works. Lineage and genealogy may be built on names, but blood knows none.
“Tapi kita cucu Nabi Muhammad, tak boleh lah.” But we’re the grandchildren of Prophet Muhammad, we can’t. Who says? We did. And we can change that if we like. The names and blood we’re obsessing over in this lifetime will be of little value in the afterlife. We won’t be judged by our names and/or by our relation to the Prophet. If a descendant has been an asshole on Earth, I’m sure God is fair not to grant them immunity from hell and/or punishments just because they’re directly related to His Messenger. A male descendant who is misogynistic and abusive during his time on Earth will not be deemed as a ‘noble’ being in the afterlife.
I’m not sure if anyone from the Arab community will read this, and I can’t predict how they would take my words if they do. Many have, and some others, will reject what I’ve discussed. There are many Arab families today who are more open-minded about who their children are allowed to marry, but there are also many others who aren’t.
I have Bugis/Malay blood from both my paternal and maternal sides. Without them, my sisters and I wouldn’t be here, and neither would my parents. Diversity is what grows humankind and humanity. We’re mulling over what it means to be a descendant of the Prophet, rather than what it means to be his follower.
It’s tradition, they say, you have to do it. You can fall in love with anyone. Just fall in love with a Syed.
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1 Bajunid, Omar Farouk. “The Hadhrami Arabs in Southeast Asia: An introduction.” In Noryati Abdul Samad (Ed.). The Hadhrami Arabs in Southeast Asia with special reference to Singapore. Singapore: National Library Board, 2010; Nurfadzilah Yahaya. “Tea and Company: Interactions between the Arab Elite and the British in Cosmopolitan Singapore.” In Ahmed Ibrahim Abushouk and Hassan Ahmad Ibrahim (Eds.). The Hadhrami Diaspora in Southeast Asia: Identity Maintenance or Assimilation? Leiden: Brill, 2009; Aljunied, Syed Muhd Khairudin. “The Role of Hadramis in Post-Second World War Singapore – A Reinterpration.” Immigrants & Minorities 25:2 (2007): 163-183; Turnbull, Constance Mary. A History of Singapore, 1819–1988. Singapore: Oxford Press, 1989; Alatas, Syed Farid. “Hadhrami identity and future of Arabs in Singapore.” Al-Majhar 1:1 (1996); Clarence-Smith, William Gervase. “Hadrami entrepreneurs in the Malay world.” In Ulrike Freitag and William Gervase Clarence-Smith (Eds.), Hadrami traders, scholars, and statesmen in the Indian Ocean, 1750s-1960s. Leiden: Brill, 1997; Aljunied, Zahra. “The genealogy of the Hadhrami Arabs in Southeast Asia – the ‘Alawi family.” IFLA WLIC 2013, Singapore.
2 Aljunied, “The genealogy of the Hadrami Arabs,”; Mukunthan, Michael, and Nor Afidah Abd Rahman. “Syed Omar Aljunied.” singapore infopedia.
3 Talib, Ameen. “Hadramis in Singapore.” Journal of Muslim Minority Affairs 17:1 (1997): 89-97; Abushouk, Ahmed Ibrahim, and Hassan Ahmad Ibrahim. The Hadhrami Diaspora in Southeast Asia: Identity Maintenance or Assimilation? Leiden: Brill, 2009; Mobini-Kesheh, Natalie. The Hadrami awakening: Community and identity in the Netherlands East Indies, 1900–1942. Ithaca, N.Y.: Southeast Asia Program Publications, 1999. Southeast Asia Program, Cornell University; Freitag, Ulrike. Indian Ocean Migrants and State Formation in Hadhramout: Reforming the Homeland. Leiden: Brill, 2003; “The world’s successful diasporas.” World Business. Last updated on July 28, 2016; Roff, William R. Studies on Islam and society in Southeast Asia. Singapore: NUS Press, 2009; Ulrike Freitag and William Gervase Clarence-Smith (Eds.), Hadrami traders, scholars, and statesmen in the Indian Ocean, 1750s-1960s. Leiden: Brill, 1997; Boxberger, Linda. On edge of empire: Hadhramawt, emigration, and the Indian Ocean 1880 – 1930s. Albany: State University of New York Press, 2002.
4 Khalidi, Tarif. Arabic historical thought in the classical period. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1994.
5 Mohammadi, Adeel. “The Ambiguity of Maternal Filiation (nasab) in Early and Medieval Islam.” MastersThesis. Harvard Divinity School, 2016.
6 Khalidi, Arabic historical thought; Mohammadi, “The Ambiguity of Maternal Filiation,”; “Nasab.” Encyclopaedia of Islam. BrillOnline Reference.
7 Mohammadi, “The Ambiguity of Maternal Filiation,”; Aljunied, “The genealogy of the Hadrami Arabs.”
8 Chua Beng-Huat. Communitarian Ideology and Democracy in Singapore. London: Routledge, 1995; Chong, Terence. The Theatre and the State in Singapore: Orthodoxy and resistance. London: Routledge, 2011; Tremewan, Christopher. “Welfare and governance: public housing under Singapore’s party-state.” In Roger Goodman, Gordon White, and Huck-ju Kwon (Eds.), The East Asian Welfare Model: Welfare Orientalism and the state. London: Routledge, 1998; Chia Yeow-Tong. Education, Culture and the Singapore Developmental State: “World-Soul” Lost and Regained? New York, Palgrave Macmillan, 2015.
9 Mir-Hosseini, Ziba. Marriage on Trial: A Study of Islamic Family Law. London: I.B. Tauris & Co Ltd, 2000; Mohammadi, “The Ambiguity of Maternal Filiation”; “Nasab”.
10 See also Maxime Rodinson’s Muhammad: Prophet of Islam (London: Tauris Parke Paperbacks, 2002).
11 Ibid.
12 Alatas, Syed Farid. Hadrahmout and the Hadhrami Diaspora: Problems in Theoretical History ; Joseph, Suad. “Gender and Family in the Arab World.” In
13 I can’t assure the legitimacy of this hadith since I’m not well versed in hadith and its verification techniques. It is a hadith that comes out often when googled on various Islamic websites and Malay-language blogs.
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Hadad graduated with a BA in History from Nanyang Technological University. Her Honours thesis explored the history of Malay/Muslim women’s activism in Singapore (1950s-1980s), particularly those associated with the Persatuan Pemudi Islam Singapura (PPIS, Singapore Muslim Women’s Association), from the 1950s to 1980s. She is interested in Islam and gender relations
Illustration by Wan Xiang Lee.
Beyond The Hijab 
Salam,
Perhaps you may find comfort in this sign.
33’40: Muhammad was not a father to any man among you. He was a messenger of God and the final prophet. God is knowing of all things.
If they claim proximity to the prophet by bloodline, how did they not know of the message he brought?
25’30:The messenger said,”My Lord, my people deserted the quran”
21’10: We have send down to you the scripture containing your message.Do you not understand?
Peace to those who follow the guidance. End of conduit.
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Hi there!! Im a Sharifah as well, Im Alkaff.. You have no idea how glad I am to have come across your blog. And it freak me out that you are also from singapore like me! Singaporeans, especially muslims, rarely do blogs especially about personal stuffs.
May I know whats your age and did you end up marrying a syed or not? Im just curious. Maybe write a blog about how you meet your husband? That would be awesome!
Its hard being an Arab in SG. The pressure to marry a syed aint easy. Trying to get married is hard enough likr finding the right spouse, but putting more restrictions like them having to be arab and part of a descendant of the prophet makes it harder. Makes me wonder if Im ever gonna get married lol.
Im not about to marry some random guy that meets the criteria. I need to like the guy as well. I need to be somewhat atrracted to him and his personality and character. But I rarely cross paths with another Arab and it doesnt help that Im anti social and likes staying at home.
Its hard explaining to the other races as well about our community and how we must marry another arab. Marry a muslim, sure it makes sense, but why must it be arab? Sounds racist and bigoted to most and I feel very awkward so avoud the topic. How do you handle such questions from chinese nin muslim friends or even malay muslim friends who ask?
Im trying to make my parents happy by trying to find suitable arab guys but right now I accidentally grew attracted to a malay muslim guy at work. He is a very nice person who practice his faith alright but I keep pushing him off just because I dont think “we” could work out and it just pains me because I wish I could be with him.
Sigh…any advice?
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Thank you for your writing. I’m not Arabs, not a malay with syed, am just normal malay who lives in Malaysia used to have a relationship with Sharifah. At first I thought it was okay, for normal malay to marry a Sharifah. At the end of our relationship, she said that her mom would feel better if “he” is syed, not some normal malay guy.
Your writing helps me to understand that there are people with tribe out there choose one’s with tribe. Not some random guy.
Thank you
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This post is definitely an eye-opener for me, a chinese.
A good friend of mine who is Muslim briefly told us how closely knitted the Arab community in SG are; and the need for Syed/Sharifahs to marry amongst themselves. I did not quite understand the reason behind all this at first but now it all makes sense! 🙂
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My husband is a biological descendant. I know this to be true because in his homeland all descendants are tracked and given a special ID and his maternal uncles are given this ID by the monarch of the kingdom.. (the king is also a descendant). From what I understand there used to be entitlements that comes with this heritage but currently there are no known privéledges attached to having this ID. All I know is that this identifier prevents them from receiving zakat contributions (religious law forbids them so) . Nonetheless, my husband doesn’t identify himself as Arab, and neither does his mother nor his maternal uncle, not because of this change of ruling but because it was never an emphasized matter.
This is the same with the King of Brunei. He is supposedly a descendant of the prophet saw via his ancestor Sultan Sharif Ali an Arab missionary and Sultan Bolkiah but the king proudly identifies and touts his Malay Muslim heritage. From what I know of Bruneian royal history they never actively sought to marry Syeds or Sharifahs. This was not their practise in fact the Crown Prince married a half Swiss. The Sultan of Brunei is hardly irreligious.. He in fact was the mastermind behind the MIB-Melayu Islam Brunei curriculum and now the implementation of Shariah law in Brunei.
This issue of claims of heritage is made more interesting by Muslim Indians who go through great lengths to claim to be Arabs also because they want to be associated as a Syed and Sharifah. I don’t know if this is because of a inferiority superiority complex issue or what.. But other than for zakat claims I don’t know any other pragmatic reasons for this.
Personally I just find it odd. It seems to me the value and the in group out group dynamics of being a sharifah or an Arab.. Is more a form of cultural preservation or personal vanity practised by some people but definitely not a universal practise or a religious edict.
The prophet’s grandchildren certainly did not marry within the family. And if that was the case they wouldn’t have been able to spread their roots so far and wide.
So logically for hardliners this practise is a form of religious innovation that goes against the prophet’s teaching and The Last Sermon. But such behaviours are rarely discouraged by Islamic clerics and most of the time condoned. Why I don’t know.
Islamic history also shows a distinction between the ruling class, the Islamic scholars and the prophet’s family. Not all of the prophet’s descendants turned out to be great scholars. And the greatest scholars after the prophet were mostly not Arabs. A lot of times in Islamic history the ruling elites who were Arabs clashed with many great scholars. And only now are we made aware of who was on the wrong side of history. However, this distinctions in history amongst the Arabs in Singapore and even in Indonesia is not really highlighted often and the family or the nasab takes priority..
Which demonstrates how complex things are really when it comes to what we know to be true and what is practised. In fact, everytime I highlight this to my friends they will dismiss it as ‘you do not understand’.. As if there is a great big secret that 80% of the world’s Muslim population is not aware of in terms of their Islamic religion.
I understand that there are many prayers associated with praying for the family of the prophet saw. Sometimes I find it very strange especially after my husband and I have a typical couples tiff to pray for his wellbeing.. But nonetheless this is what Islam necessitates.
I can understand the immense pride one might feel to have a genetic link to the greatest of all of Allah swt’s creation. But genetic links, special prayers hardly justifies the need to be racist or exclusive or elitist. And to treat such titles as though there is a backdoor part/version of Islam that was never revealed to the 80% of non Arab Muslim – isn’t this just Islamically wrong? A special Islam that is an exclusive club for the Syeds and Sharifahs- other than the Shias and Singaporean Arabs, and some Indian Muslims, I do not know who else who really holds true to this like a religious law.
I am not chastising an entire community’s cultural practise or anyone’s personal beliefs. But don’t I have a point from a religious stand point? There is no Islamic justification known for the need of this exclusivity. Now that I am married to a Hashimi (not that I knew when I agreed to marry him) I know this to not even be religiously true but culturally non binding practise amongst the wider Hashimi family.
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You must be very successful, I like what I read
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There’s no such direct paternal descendants from our prophet, all of his sons died. This is important because we only follow the father’s line while the maternal side isn’t that important. Even our family names or surnames follows our father.
Those arabs are just proud of the lineage of something they were born with. Which is just their luck. It’s not wrong but to impose such rule isn’t the teaching of our prophet and also the paternal DNA side.
No use. You take YDNA test, you’ll go past ALI. R.A lineage, you take MtDNA test, you go past your maternal mothers to very great mothers not even reaching Fatimah R.A.
Marrying with the preference of the same race is understandable, because they want the son/daughter in law to be already accustomed to the arab or whatever family culture. It will be difficult if the spouse is from another culture.
So it depends the spouse is willing to learn but if you’re a women, you are with your husband’s family culture and arabs don’t want that. Arab males have the luxury to choose because they know the women have to follow men and their culture.
But this is just preference and shouldn’t be a rule.
Prophet let’s us choose our spouses based on requirements in the hadith and our wali will make the final decision. That should be the way.
There might be a good thing in marrying another family because fathers want the best for their child. A reputable family can (probably) entrusted to take care of his daughter. It’s the safest option. But the world doesn’t work that way.
All this is just a war and conservation of culture and identity. Last time, it’s associated with power over turf and rankings. But today I see many of them useless, some are gay, some are serial fornicators.
At the same time if they so hard on about culture, then speak only arab, eat arab food, wear arab garments, don’t speak languages and eat other culture’s cuisines. Heh.
They hold pride in a name that’s just passed on to them without earning anything. Even Chinese have surnames but it’s the hardwork that earns the respect. In the afterlife, God judge us by good and bad deeds, not status or names.
I’m a malay and I would like to form a family name as well albeit rare. I’m flexible with my son’s and daughter’s choice but I’ll filter them as a wali.
If they can continue my family name, good for them, if they cannot, then too bad. My daughter will follow their husbands proudly. May their marriage strengthen the bonds between my family and her husband’s.
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I’m glad an Arab came forward to write this article. I came across this as I was searching for Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) lineage in Indonesia as claimed by the ulamas, habibs and syeds.
I am very agreeable to the author’s thoughts on the complications of marrying within the tribes due to conserving the lineage. So many things that she has mentioned bode well with me. Lineage or not, you are who you are. Doesn’t matter who are your ancestors. If you live life as a good Muslim, Allah will reward you in the afterlife. Even if you are a Sharifah or syed but has a non-Muslim lifestyle that doesn’t excuse you from hellfire.
So don’t take lineage as pride because it doesn’t guarantees anything.
We are all humans and we are all equal in they eyes of Allah swt.
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This was an interesting article to read. I’m a Syed myself through my father but my mother is from a non shareef tribe in Yemen. Growing up you hear the pressures of Syed/Sharifah must marry one another, more so towards the sharifahs because of genealogy. Personally, I don’t agree with it. I can understand the position people who hold the tradition staunchly, however I find that in some cases it could be rather damaging on the women. For example, a Sharifah that has intention for marriage yet is only limited to Sayids and that has severe consequences at times. Some can’t find one that suits them and end up waiting years and then are scolded that “they’re too old” now.
Also it’s interesting to highlight that widely the descendants of the Prophet salAllahu Alayhi wassalam are focused through the children of al Hasan wal Husayn radiaAllah anhum. His lineage is recognised through his daughter, Sayidinna Fatimah radiAllah anha, as he had no male lineage. But people must remember that he also had other daughters, who were not married to men of banu Hashem. His daughter Zainab (ra) was married to a Sahabi from Banu Abd Shams, Ruqaiyyah (ra) and after her death her sister Umm Kulthum (ra) were married to Uthman (ra) from Banu Ummaya. I hope with time, more families begin to see past these traditions and understand that the merits of an individual should be regarded higher than their ancestry.
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